Jen Russum

You are here: Home / Narratives of Grace / The problem with dresses

The problem with dresses

I always thought dresses were my best friend…

but I’ve learned the truth.

Those backstabbing dresses are actually my worst enemy.

You…
{Skirt: Banana Republic}

You…
{Maxi: TJ Maxx}

And even you…
{Dress: Target}

Here’s the thing about living in the desert. Dresses are a staple. I pretty much only wear dresses or skirts and occasionally shorts from late April until early October. Dresses are like an air-conditioning system that you wear on your body. They help with air flow. No sticky waistband or sweaty thighs. Dresses for life.

But here is the problem. April through October is a long time to not wear pants… it’s like half the year, for reals. And you don’t know that dresses are your worst enemy until late September when you start looking at your fall clothes with longing… skinny jeans, long sleeves, sweaters, moccasins. “I want to wear you so badly,” you think to yourself. So one day you decide that, even though it’s still 105 degrees out, you will wear jeans just to channel the feeling of fall. And you pull on those jeans… and you pull… and you pull… and you finally squeeze them on and gasp, both for air and because of the shock that they just don’t fit like they use to last March…

Those dresses are so deceitful. Soft, flowing, forgiving fabric that tells you to eat a little more ice cream to cool off or enjoy just a few more fries with your summer burger fresh off the grill…

This all makes sense to me now. In the past, I’ve heard that Houston and other cities in the south are some of the least healthy cities in America. But think how hot and humid Houston is… those unsuspecting victims probably live in dresses that hide the calories sticking to their sweaty bodies. And it’s always cities like Seattle and Minneapolis that are named the healthiest cities in America. Those are pants-wearin’ cities, y’all. No one is trying to rock a skirt when it’s ten below zero or when it’s been raining and overcast for two months straight. Those pants keep them healthy.

So what’s the moral of this story? I don’t really know, other than that I have a new goal to try on pants at least once a month in the summer for as long as I live in Arizona.

And my hips? They do lie. They lie to me every day in those comfortable, cool, and flattering dresses…

{Linking up here}

Comments

  1. i live in washington, and I can attest that jeans don't lie! but living in the desert and rocking dresses and skirts for half the year sounds like a good time. yay, for cooler weather! x

  4. SO funny! I have this problem every Fall. I always blame my husband, surely he put my favorite jeans in the dryer and they shrank INCHES!

    I love all of your dresses. Where do you find them? It seems like all the ones I find are a tad too short to wear without leggings. And I'm short! I would love to find some good dresses that are just an inch longer!

  7. This totally made my day. I feel the exact same way! Thus I signed up for a 10 K ON Thanksgiving day (freedom to eat and eat and eat, right?). Those skinny jeans better be fitting by then… regardless I'll still eat my weight in sweet potatoes and pie.

    Thanks for making me smile this morning!

  9. This made me laugh out loud. It is so true. I live in Cyprus and our climate gets hot around end of May and its still going now in early October. It averages 35 degrees C everyday and I agree that dresses are a necessity. That being said, I braved jeans today – I felt like a sausage all puffy and chubby trapped in my jeans! 🙁 Roll on Winter!! 🙂

  12. hilarious. absolutely hilarious! I have lived in the mild part of California most of my life, moved to Seattle for a while, and now I live in the middle of the valley where its super duper hot and I long to wear jeans! I loved Seattle because it totally did force me to wear jeans and stay fitting into them, but now, I am surviving only in elastic shorts and dresses 🙂

  13. I'm in love with that last outfit! after wearing dresses all summer I put on my jeans and can't believe how tight and uncomfortable they feel!

  14. So true! I'm in Alabama and I feel your pain! Just broke out my pants last week and they are all snug/too tight.

  16. ooooohhhh, I see! I was wondering what was going to be wrong with the dresses, because they look so gorgeous on you! That's really true! Skinny jeans don't tend to have a lot of room for variation in them!

  18. Oh my, I hear you! Her in Australia we are just heading into Summer and I have stocked up on dresses and skirts…mainly because my shorts from last season no longer fit after piling on the winter kilos. I have found a way to escape the pants not fitting dilemma- just wear stockings under dresses throughout winter…works a charm 😉

  20. SO true!! This is a harsh reality that I'm continually surprised about at the changing of the seasons. You'd think I'd learn but those dresses are so comfy and cool 🙂