As promised, I would like to share a couple of things I dislike about living in Arizona. And a “couple” is not an understatement. After nine months of living in the desert, there are only TWO thing that significantly bother me here. And, no, it’s not the fact that it is going to be over 100 degrees for the next five months. I think I’m okay with that. Hot summer days = a good tan. Also, hot summer days = warm summer nights. And warm summer nights = wearing a dress in the evening without needing a jacket or sweater. Also, warm summer nights = that amazing feeling when you are sitting in an air-conditioned building (restaurant, movie theater, etc) and you feel cold until you walk outside and feel that warm, 80 degree night air hit your chilly skin. MMMmmm..
Okay, but let’s move on, because this is my chance for a short rant. The two things that bother me about Arizona:
1) The smokers. Did someone forget to send the memo to Arizona that smoking is going out of style? It’s not cool anymore. The original Marlboro man went on an anti-smoking campaign before he died of lung cancer in his 50s. It’s not “green” to smoke. It’s not trendy to smoke (unless you are Phoenix hipster). It’s not economically savvy to smoke. Even Europe is cutting back. And if the Europeans are quitting smoking WHY aren’t the people of Phoenix?! Now granted I hail from Seattle where smoking is one of the biggest faux pas around. The health conscious people of Seattle do not smoke. It’s not even really legal anywhere in the city, because as of 2005, you can’t smoke in any public building OR within 25 feet of any public doors, windows or vents. And in a city it’s pretty hard to find yourself 25 feet away from any doors or windows… It’s a glorious law. But Phoenix is behind the times as far as the anti-smoking movement is concerned. Everywhere I go, there is smoke. Smoke in my face. All over ASU’s campus. When I walk down city streets. Coming in through the vent in our apartment’s laundry closet. I’ve had enough. Smoking is illegal in most public buildings in the city, but there are very few restrictions on where you can smoke outside. In fact, many places, including the ASU Library, provide ashtrays in outside seating areas for smoking convenience. Gross. I’m fine with the 100 degree weather, but I’m not okay with the cancerous smoke floating through this desert valley of ours.
2) Speed bumps. Now I don’t know if there are any kind of regulations on the lawful height of speed bumps, but if there are, they must be on a state by state or city by city basis… and Phoenix, Arizona must rank #1 for highest speed bumps in the country. You think you are in a valley until your car gets hoisted up by one of these cement monsters and suddenly you are looking over the mountains and peering into New Mexico. They are ridiculous. Since when does Arizona have the right to ruin my car? I haven’t gotten out a tape measure to measure these horrible humps, but I think many of them might between close to twelve inches above the surface of the road and they are EVERYWHERE. Arizona has a speed bump obsession. They are in parking lots, the driveway into our apartment complex, on residential streets. There is no escaping them. My car is crying out in pain. I am crying out in pain. Honestly, sometimes my back jars a bit as I cross over the highest ones. And it’s not only that they are too high, but that some of them are so abrupt. They aren’t the kind that are wide, which can be rolled over gently. And it doesn’t matter how sloooooowly you go over them. They might as well put a pile of 4×4 lumber out in the road. My car might appreciate a small collision more than the drive out of our apartment complex each day (okay, I don’t really want to get in an accident, but you have to exaggerate in a rant, right?). My students are currently writing practical proposals to fix lcoal problems around the city. I should have begged some students to write about regulating speed bump height in the city and then sent their papers to local officials. Maybe this will be a topic choice for next year. Here are some pictures of these beasts…
