This is post one in a three-part series that documents each of my pregnancies. I wanted to capture my memories of these child-bearing years before they become too hazy in mind…
Zianne Eileen…
Strawberry lemonade. It was a long, hot summer in Phoenix. I actually enjoyed being pregnant in the summer because I could wear tank tops and flowy maxi dresses all the time. Sometimes I would just float in our pool with my bikini and giant baby bump. However, I got into the bad habit of stopping for all kinds of sugary treats when I was running errands around town in the scorching sun. I would go to Wendy’s multiple times a week for strawberry lemonade and Frosty ice cream cones (yes, often ordering both). On days I didn’t go to Wendy’s, I would indulge in Italian Sodas at the local coffee shop. It took me the first year of your life to break my sugary drink habit. I don’t indulge in such beverages often anymore, but when I do, I think of you.
Limping. I will always think of my pregnancy with you as perfect, except for the two weeks I couldn’t walk at the very end. I pulled a ligament in my hip on an extreme nesting weekend. Micah was out-of-town for work and I decided to repaint your dresser and do way too many other physical tasks at 37 weeks pregnant. I stayed up until 2am two nights in a row and woke up Sunday morning unable to walk. I remember the extreme pain of trying to roll over in bed, sitting on the edge of my mattress in the morning for a full five minutes, trying to will myself to stand up through searing discomfort. I remember walking to my grad school class on Monday afternoon (my last grad class ever) and arriving 30 minutes late because I had to limp so slowly across ASU’s huge campus. I remember hobbling to the front of the church to take communion a week later. And I remember stumbling around downtown Phoenix one night because I insisted Micah and I use our free tickets to a Diamondbacks game, even though the feeling of my hip was sheer torture. I even remember walking on the treadmill with my injury, because my doctors told me it was totally normal, just my “hips spreading for labor,” so I told myself I should continue exercising to be a healthy mom. Finally, finally I went to to the chiropractor and she confirmed that limping and extreme pain are not actually a part of full-term pregnancy. With a few adjustments and a lot of ice, she got me walking again without wincing. It was a good thing, because at 39 weeks, I still had over two weeks of pregnancy to go with you, my late baby.
The smell of rosemary mint shampoo. It’s not my regular shampoo, but I took a small bottle of it to Australia where you were conceived. When we got back I continued to use the bottle until it was gone. Whenever I smell rosemary-mint, I think back to those earliest weeks of being pregnant… and all those feelings of expectation and uncertainty as I wondered who you would be and who I would be as your mother.
