I have made so many friends through social media. A few of my closest friends in Arizona were girls I met through blogging. Our first play date here in California was with a girl I originally met on Instagram. I feel like moving to a new area is much easier these days when you can establish new friendships over Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. But since moving to California, I've also made a new friend the old-fashioned way... at the public library. It was one of the moments where God gently reminds me that He is leading us in the midst of the chaos, in the midst of the moving boxes and air mattresses and mini-fridges and ants in the kitchen {this is our life, you guys}. We had been living in our empty house for a few days, and I decided to take the girls to explore the local library around the corner. When we arrived, a fellow mom with a baby in a stroller noticed I was new and said, "Oh, you must be here for story time. I'll show you where it is." We just happened to arrive five minutes before toddler story time and suddenly Z was singing, playing, and popping bubbles with all the neighborhood kids. After story time, I walked up to the circulation desk to open an account and started chatting with another mom there. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone new where you can just feel the Holy Spirit is very present and powerful in their life? This was how I felt talking to this woman. I just gazed into her eyes as she talked to me about Jesus, her seven kids, homeschooling, her church, and an array of other topics. By the end of the 40 minute conversation, I was ready to ask her to be my mentor, but instead I just said "Can I get your phone number? You're my first friend here." {The humble truth.} A few hours later, Angie texted to invite us over to dinner that night. A true picture of godly hospitality. I seriously want to be just like her someday. Since then, we've visited their church, met up at the library again, and I'm now officially storing my breast milk in her freezer since we still don't have one at the Russum abode. If that isn't true friendship, I don't know what is. In a world of tweets and Instagram likes, I'm pretty thankful to have met someone the old-fashioned way, by striking up a conversation. I'm thankful for toddler story time and for dinner invitations and for a God who sends me to the library at just the right time to meet other moms from the neighborhood. No detail is too small for a God that loves us so greatly. ... Read more
The Halfway Capsule Wardrobe
So perhaps you've heard of the "capsule wardrobe" concept. It can work various ways, but basically you create a small wardrobe {often 30-40 items} of high quality pieces that mix and match easily. You swap out your small wardrobe each season, so you might have two to four rotating collections, and you literally get rid of the rest of your clothes. Anything that doesn't fit, doesn't flatter, doesn't gel with the rest of your clothes... you just get rid of it and simplify your life. In any given season, you are wearing only the pieces that look best on you and look good together. Maybe you're intrigued by capsule wardrobes, but you are scared to take the plunge. Maybe your closet is stuffed and you are overwhelmed by the idea of going through it all piece by piece. Maybe the concept of fewer clothes sounds attractive, but you really enjoy fashion and could never limit yourself to just 30 items. Maybe, like me, you live in a really extreme climate where there are not four clear seasons during the year, and you know your closet would need extra warm-weather or cold-weather clothes at any given time. Maybe you are in your child-bearing years and between pregnancy, breastfeeding, and postpartum weight fluctuations you can't even remember what your "style" is anymore. I am operating off what I like to call a "halfway capsule" wardrobe right now. I have slashed my closet to about half of what it used to be, but I still have far more than 40 items in it at any given time. I am shopping less frequently and training myself to spend more on high quality, versatile items instead of surrendering to every sale. I am swapping out some items seasonally, but I haven't fully started a four-season rotation since Arizona {and Southern California} don't really have a winter. Here are my tips for easing into the capsule wardrobe concept without getting overwhelmed. You can start with a few of these methods and move toward a more minimalist closet gradually or just give your closet a one-time cleaning and call it good enough for now... Rotate seasonal items. Take out sandals, sundresses, and tanks in the winter. Remove heavy sweaters, jackets, and boots in the summer. Leave versatile pieces like short sleeve tees and lightweight cardigans to wear year-round. This way you will get to open up at least one box when the weather changes from cold-to-warm and vice versa, and your old clothes will feel new again because you haven't been staring at them all year. Clean out closet seasonally. I highly recommend cleaning out your closet seasonally, at least twice a year at the (summer/fall and winter/spring transitions), but ideally four times a year. Consider which sweaters you haven't worn at all during the cold months and get rid of them. Those shorts that fit funny and sat in drawer all summer? Sell them or send them off to the thrift store. Keep a list. Jot down a list of items you need and only allow yourself to purchase those items. As you notice gaps in your wardrobe, add them to the list and start to browse for them online and in stores when you have a chance. This way you will only buy items that serve a purpose for you and can say "no" to impulse purchases that don't mesh with the rest of your wardrobe. {For example: I currently don't have a navy cardigan and have realized I would wear one all the time. I'm on the hunt and waiting for the perfect blue sweater to present itself.} Banish ill-fitting clothing. If you wear a piece and realize something isn't quite right about it, remove it from your wardrobe instantly. My friend once noticed I sold something in my shop she had seen me wear recently. The day she saw me wearing it was the day I realized it didn't fit me right {sometimes it takes a few hours of running around town to realize this}, so I got rid of it instead of letting it linger in my closet or forcing myself to wear it again despite it's unflattering or uncomfortable shape. Give yourself a challenge. They say most people only wear about 10% of the clothing in their closet, so give yourself a closet challenge to help you wear more of your clothing and mix outfits together in new ways. One fun challenge is the 30 for 30 remix. Another thing I have done is turned all my hangers backward in my closet. Once I wear something, it returns to the closet with the hanger facing the right way. I try not to re-wear anything until I have worn everything on the backward hangers. Take pictures. I think Cher had it right in Clueless when she used a software program to visualize her outfits in advance. For some reason, I often can't tell if an outfit looks good just by looking in the mirror, but when I see myself on camera I can instantly tell if my outfit is flattering or not. I haven't actually done this yet, but I've considered taking pictures of each of my "dressier" outfits, so I can reference them in the future and remember which pieces look good together. Make fit a priority. I used to try on clothes and get sucked in by a cute pattern or a good price. Now I am a stickler about fit. A ten dollar shirt that is slightly too wide in the shoulders? No, thank you. Jeans that will look stunning when I lose the last of my baby weight? Not a chance. If you find a really amazing piece on sale that doesn't fit quite right, consider paying a little extra to have a tailor alter it to fit your body perfectly. Experiment when pregnant or breastfeeding. If you want to test a smaller wardrobe without getting rid of all your clothes, use the season of pregnancy or breastfeeding to mix or match fewer items. Since you usually wear fewer clothes during these time periods, work on curating a small, versatile closet and style your items creatively. When you are done growing and feeding a small human, apply what you learned with your maternity clothes to your regular clothing. Unsubscribe! Spoiler alert: J.Crew and Gap {or fill in the blank with your favorite store} offer 30 and 40% off sales practically every other day of the week. Don't get sucked in by email promotions tempting you to buy clothing you don't need. I have unsubscribed from all promotional emails, because I know I can find a sale or a promo code at any given time. If you know you need to buy an item this week, check out this list to see all current sales. ... Read more
Wanted: New Best Friends
We have several openings for immediate placement in my Southern California office... Position #001: A Vanessa Minimum qualifications: A co-extrovert to talk about all the things. From spiritual gifts to hippie medications to breastfeeding rights, no topic is off limits. Eager to grow in faith and talks about the Lord often. Strategic and knowledgeable in business and parenting. Can sometimes work remotely via constant text message communication. Preferred qualifications: Husband who bonds quickly with Micah over shared interests such as NBA basketball and water sports. Frequent invitations to family cabin in mountains are highly desirable. Position #002: A Holly Minimum qualifications: A spirit that leads with quiet grace and wisdom. A good listener. Marriage is a strong example of what gentleness and kindness look like. Serves willingly and opens her home to our friends frequently. Preferred qualifications: Lives three blocks away, enabling the trading of garden tools and small kitchen appliances. Hold my {giant} children gladly and lulls them to sleep at loud social functions. Position #003: A Jordan Minimum qualifications: A working mom who balances a career and motherhood, while still pursing personal hobbies. Accepts unexpected life changes and hard seasons with astounding grace and patience. A talented writer. Preferred qualifications: Shared love of blogging and social media. An appreciation for college football, Texas, and good queso. Position #004: A Sarah and a Kerri Minimum qualifications: Friends at work who are brilliantly smart but know academia isn't the most important thing in the world. Can balance scholarship with personal life and appreciate fashion, food, and a good laugh. Know how to provide support and encouragement when friends are facing professional challenges. Preferred qualifications: Willing to swap clothing. Enjoy long conversations over good coffee. Position #005: A Shalyn Minimum qualifications: The perfect mix of gentle and strong. Confident, honest, humble. Willing to have hard conversations if needed, but words are always seasoned with grace. Meets frequently for mid-week play dates. Shared church background and similar theological beliefs. Eager to grow in godliness as a wife and mother and spurs me on to do the same. Preferred qualifications: Husbands are best friends. Children born the same week as mine. Talented photographer able to provide family photos on a whim. Bakes often and shares treats. Willing to stay up until 1am playing poker. Accepting applications from candidates throughout greater Orange County area. Willing to drive great distances for interviews. Please apply over email, phone, Facebook,Twitter, or Instagram or at local meet-ups such as church or the public library. ... Read more
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