This is post one in a three-part series that documents each of my pregnancies. I wanted to capture my memories of these child-bearing years before they become too hazy in mind... Zianne Eileen... Strawberry lemonade. It was a long, hot summer in Phoenix. I actually enjoyed being pregnant in the summer because I could wear tank tops and flowy maxi dresses all the time. Sometimes I would just float in our pool with my bikini and giant baby bump. However, I got into the bad habit of stopping for all kinds of sugary treats when I was running errands around town in the scorching sun. I would go to Wendy's multiple times a week for strawberry lemonade and Frosty ice cream cones (yes, often ordering both). On days I didn't go to Wendy's, I would indulge in Italian Sodas at the local coffee shop. It took me the first year of your life to break my sugary drink habit. I don't indulge in such beverages often anymore, but when I do, I think of you. Limping. I will always think of my pregnancy with you as perfect, except for the two weeks I couldn't walk at the very end. I pulled a ligament in my hip on an extreme nesting weekend. Micah was out-of-town for work and I decided to repaint your dresser and do way too many other physical tasks at 37 weeks pregnant. I stayed up until 2am two nights in a row and woke up Sunday morning unable to walk. I remember the extreme pain of trying to roll over in bed, sitting on the edge of my mattress in the morning for a full five minutes, trying to will myself to stand up through searing discomfort. I remember walking to my grad school class on Monday afternoon (my last grad class ever) and arriving 30 minutes late because I had to limp so slowly across ASU's huge campus. I remember hobbling to the front of the church to take communion a week later. And I remember stumbling around downtown Phoenix one night because I insisted Micah and I use our free tickets to a Diamondbacks game, even though the feeling of my hip was sheer torture. I even remember walking on the treadmill with my injury, because my doctors told me it was totally normal, just my "hips spreading for labor," so I told myself I should continue exercising to be a healthy mom. Finally, finally I went to to the chiropractor and she confirmed that limping and extreme pain are not actually a part of full-term pregnancy. With a few adjustments and a lot of ice, she got me walking again without wincing. It was a good thing, because at 39 weeks, I still had over two weeks of pregnancy to go with you, my late baby. The smell of rosemary mint shampoo. It's not my regular shampoo, but I took a small bottle of it to Australia where you were conceived. When we got back I continued to use the bottle until it was gone. Whenever I smell rosemary-mint, I think back to those earliest weeks of being pregnant... and all those feelings of expectation and uncertainty as I wondered who you would be and who I would be as your mother. ... Read more
Lavishly Blessed (A Baby Shower Story)
About a month ago, my friend from church exclaimed to me, "Brittany and I want to throw you a shower!" I was taken aback. I am pretty much the new girl at our church, and I felt equal parts blessed and overwhelmed that they wanted to throw a party for me. I had silly self-conscious thoughts like, "I'm the new girl. I don't want people to feel obligated to come." Or "But what if no one shows up?" Or "It's my third baby... I don't want people to think I'm greedy for gifts!" But these thoughts were countered with more rational thoughts like, "Wow. What a great church we have joined that these new friends would want to throw a party on my behalf." And "I love celebrating with other women. It would be so fun to gather all my California friends in the same room for a few hours." And "It's my third child, but every child is worth celebrating." I let my joyful thoughts overcome my doubtful ones, and we put a date on the calendar for March 25th. I insisted that we DON'T need gifts, but of course my generous and loving friends showed up with diapers and gift cards galore. Our baby is stocked with size 1 and 2 diapers, and if it's a boy, he won't have to be naked indefinitely because we got gift cards to fun clothing stores and even a few new outfits. When I had my baby shower for Zianne, I remember looking around the room and feeling so abundantly blessed. We had been in Arizona for almost three years at that point, and I was overcome by the women who came to celebrate with me. It's always hard to build community after moving, and at my shower I realized, "Wow! These are my friends - from church, from grad school, from blogging, from so many different places. God has given me an amazing group of women here." It was the first moment I officially felt "settled" in Arizona and my heart overflowed with joy. At this weekend's shower I had a similar feeling. I wouldn't say we feel settled in California yet, but this party reminded me that God has us here for a reason. He is weaving together our community by blossoming new relationships and reuniting me with friends of old. Women came from L.A. to San Diego to celebrate with me. I am so thankful God has given me such amazing women to support me. I am excited about my new job, our new church, and living in this new place because God is faithful to bring people into our lives to love us and spur us on. Today's beautiful party was a sweet reminder of that truth. ... Read more
My Little Garden
My office has no windows. When I go into my classroom to teach and find it flooded with natural light from real windows, I breathe a sigh of relief. Windowless rooms are seriously the worst. My main career goal right now is to eventually move my office to the other side of the hallway where the rooms have huge windows and are drenched in sunlight. But that is probably a few years out... Until then, I have a lovely spacious office with no natural light and TONS of shelves. When I first moved in, there were FIVE full-size bookshelves in my office. I actually had the facilities team remove two of them, because I found them daunting. The empty shelves were making me anxious. So now I am down to three huge bookshelves. For most professors, especially an English professor, it would be easy to fill these shelves with books, books, and more books, but I am not your average professor. I am a minimalist professor who sells books every chance I get. I only keep textbooks for classes currently in my teaching rotation. I only keep scholarly books I will likely consult in the future. I only keep fiction or non-fiction books if I actually plan to read them with the next year. When I finish a book for fun, I instantly sell it on Amazon, unless I honestly think I will re-read it in the future. There are so many books in the world I want to read, I only keep a tiny collection of texts to read twice. So that makes filling three huge bookshelves a daunting task. I probably have 50-ish books in my office and at least ten of them are posted for sale on Amazon and could be shipped off any day now. So what does one use to fill those looming shelves? Plants, of course. I see all you ladies on Instagram, filling your houses with fiddle fig trees and ferns and ivy and succulents and air plants. They look clean and healthy and beautiful. But remember my crucial problem... no natural light in my office. And even if I had one of the sunlight-drenched rooms across the corridor, I would probably still kill any real plants in my care, because I have the blackest thumb in the universe. I have killed more succulents than you can imagine. Yes, those hearty plants that need little water or care. I can decimate them in just a few weeks. The only plant I have ever kept alive is a Christmas Cactus from my second grade science project. That thing lasted for over 20 years, but a room full of Christmas cacti is not the aesthetic I'm going for. A botanist told me I might be able to get a snake plant to survive in my window-less office, but that still wouldn't be enough to fill my looming, empty shelves. By the end of fall semester, I was getting slightly embarrassed about the state of my office. I had a few meetings with other staff and faculty there, and they would eye my mostly empty shelves skeptically. Who was this professor with a few measly books, a pile of papers, and a cardboard box sitting on her gorgeous mahogany shelves? One day the dean walked in and exclaimed, "Wow! You really are a minimalist!" At that point, I quickly added "decorate office shelves" to my list of goals for 2017. I got started right away in January, because I wanted my office, windows or no windows, to be a pleasant place for students or faculty who visit it. I saw this Instagram picture, which led me to this blog post, and I decided I could use these three steps to make my office shelves look good, despite not wanting to keep tons of books on them. Plants were essential for the look I was going for, so I started scouring the internet for the most attractive faux plants I could find. I bought a few sets and figured I would divide them up, putting some of them in the equally dark and minimalist writing center. Here's what I found and loved... White ceramic potted succulents (very small, but super cute)... Succulents in round glass vases (these ones are slightly bigger and I really like them) Amazing faux succulents from Nordstrom (these are even bigger) Another set in cement pots (I haven't see them in person yet, but they look awesome!) And of course, Ikea plants for good measure... With all my fake foliage, my office is no longer an utter embarrassment. I still have a few shelves to fill though, so my next step is to buy some fun new artwork. ... Read more
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