Dear Eisley, When you were born, you came out with a dark mark on your forehead, your eyelid, and on the side of your tiny nose. In those first few hours of life, when your white fetal skin was slowly turning pink, we couldn't really tell what the discoloration was. The next day the pediatrician came by and explained it was a "stork bite." She was unconcerned, telling us it would most likely fade away in the first 1-2 years of your life. Within the next few days, I watched a YouTube video of a baby with a stork bite of similar size and placement as yours. The mom made a video of photos of the baby over the first two years of his life, and in each photo you could clearly see the swollen capillaries fade away as the months passed by. You are now three months old and two things have happened. First, your stork mark is already fading away. It's far less noticeable than when you were born. Second, it's become familiar and endearing to me. On the one hand, I don't even notice it anymore. I am so used to baby Eisley with a faint pink patch on her forehead. On the other hand, I will miss it when it's gone. It's a visible marker of your infancy, and although I want it to disappear, its absence will bluntly remind me that your baby days are gone forever. Another thing I've noticed about your stork bite is that people are less likely to tell me that you're cute. And the funny thing is... you are insanely cute with your chubby cheeks, bright blue eyes, and frequent smile. And the funnier thing is that you look almost exactly like your two sisters who, as babies, were labeled "cute," "pretty," "precious," and "darling" by everyone they met. But I think people see the pink mark on your forehead and it stops their tongues from overflowing with compliments about your beautiful eyes, ears, nose, mouth, and pretty red hair. I am positive you will grow up to be beautiful on the outside, with ocean-like eyes and ruby hair. You'll likely have long legs like me and just the right dose of your daddy's athleticism. The raspberry on your forehead will disappear in just a few months, but I'm sure you'll hear how pretty you are for years to come. You'll never really remember your stork bite, except by photos, but I do hope you remember this... external beauty is fading, but the beauty within your heart will last forever. The world looks for rosy cheeks, white teeth, tan legs, and perfectly colored foreheads. People are quick to praise attractive faces, but also quick to withhold compliments for the smallest imperfections. I pray you will never find your worth in the praises or critiques of the worldly masses who judge by the worthless standard of outer beauty. May your beauty always flow from within, because nothing in this world was made to last. May your heart be filled with peace and joy that radiate to your outer countenance and invite people to know the One who created our exquisite world. Your forehead will be smooth for the next few decades and then I hope it fills with fine lines from a lifetime of laughter and playing in the sunshine. Those wrinkles may be ugly to the world, but they are beautiful to God. Love, Mama ... Read more
Talitha’s Goldbug Birthday
Honestly, I shouldn't have thrown a birthday party for Talitha this year. We were in the middle of moving, and we have a new baby. The weekend right before her birthday was Zianne's first ballet recital. The weekend after her birthday, my best friend had a baby shower. I pushed her birthday party out two weeks and then accidentally wrote July rather than June on the invites. It should be a rule that you can't throw a birthday party if you've moved or had a baby in the past 60 days. Plus there is the fact that she's two and will never remember the party. But maybe it's because I'm an ESTJ and celebrations and traditions with family and friends are a core part of my personality... Or perhaps it's because I've watched every season of Gilmore Girls way too many times and want to emulate Lorelai's devotion to celebrating her daughter's birthday. Or maybe it's because Talitha was so excited about her "bug birthday!" Whatever the reason, Talitha turned two and we celebrated. We left our still-unpacked boxes at home, texted everyone to clarify the date typo, and headed to the park for her Goldbug themed birthday. In two of Richard Scarry's books, Cars and Trucks and Things that Go and The Best Lowly Worm Book Ever, there is a tiny, golden bug hidden on every page. Talitha has been obsessed with finding Goldbug since she received one of the books for Christmas, so a few months ago I decided it would the perfect theme for her birthday. I had a custom Richard Scarry-themed invite made, and then loosely followed a bug theme for the party. To make the celebration a little more feminine, I found the cutest bugs I could on Amazon and also added blossoms to the decor, which mainly included coloring sheets of bugs, flowers, and butterflies set out on the picnic tables. I also cut out a bunch of gold bugs to hide around the park that the kids could find, but once the party got going, we never got around to the game. I made a simple snack spread of banana muffins, fruit kabobs, and cake batter puppy chow for the 10am festivities. Instead of cake, I made dirt cups with gummy worms to match the outdoorsy theme. All in all, the party was a blast. Talitha was the first to help herself to food (typical) and played mostly by herself (as usual) while the older kids ran around together. Basically, it was a dream day for our always hungry, sometimes shy, super active Talitha Joy. ... Read more
It’s Too Soon…
When Zianne was four months old, I took a trip to Texas to visit my girlfriends. On my first afternoon in town, on the way back from the airport, my friend Sarah and I needed to nurse our babies who were just a few weeks apart. We stopped by another friend's house, because she had a new baby as well. We figured if you are going to breastfeed, why not socialize at the same time? We sat in a playroom on various chairs and couches talking about the ups and downs of motherhood, especially those first few overwhelming weeks with a newborn. As the conversation went on, I eventually asked this question: "What's the most irrational thing you did in your first few postpartum days that you can laugh at now?" Sarah shared something, and then I talked about how Micah tried to coach me in breastfeeding (and I got mad and then bawled my eyes out). Then we looked over at our other friend. She was feeding her baby who was just five or six weeks old. It was her second child. And she said softly, "It's too soon. I know I'll laugh someday, but I can't just yet." I immediately regretted my question. Here I was with my chubby, sleeping-through-the-night, four month-old first child asking a fresh mom of two if she's already laughing about the crazy season she's still weathering. Yet her humble, honest answer sticks with me all these years later. Because now I'm the one living in the too soon. It's too soon to laugh about how we had three babies in three and a half years. It's too soon to reminisce about the time we moved when the youngest was just eight weeks old. It's too soon to think fondly of raising young children or smile at the thought of their dirty faces and the crayon markings on my sofa. It's too soon to remember how those early years shaped me... how God slowly taught me patience and the grace of a gentle tongue. It's too soon to recollect on the hours, days, months spent nursing on my couch, on my bed, in the front seat of the minivan or to chuckle at the times I spent an hour getting the baby down for a nap only to hear her crying five minutes later. It's too soon to talk about how I balanced my marriage, motherhood, and a job. It's too soon. Someday I will wax poetic about the little years and the funny things they said. I might dive into the sea of nostalgia from time to time and let those waves of remembrance wash over me... their chubby thighs, round cheeks, pacifier lips. I will think of how God used these baby years to make me a better woman. How the days were hard, but good. How my hair started showing strands of gray, but my heart was being refined like gold. Someday I will say those things. Think those thoughts. But not today. It's too soon. ... Read more
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