A good overview of why church membership matters... Just finished this memoir... I love a good think piece on Waco, Texas and the Magnolia empire... On the prevalence of abuse within the church... A funny, humble man writes his own obituary... When you really are a bad mom... Found a new (clean) tinted moisturizer that I like... ... Read more
Second Trimester
When people find out that we don't know the sex of the baby, they often ask me, "Has this pregnancy felt the same or different from all the others?" as they try to analyze whether I'm having a boy or a girl. I usually respond with "pretty much the same." And, that's true. I've felt mostly the same -- nausea that subsided around 11 weeks, increasing hip pain, feeling fairly energetic in the second trimester. Same weight gain, same body shape. But in a few ways, this pregnancy has been wildly different. It all started when I didn't work out during my first trimester. In my previous pregnancies, I got myself to the gym no matter how awful I felt, but this time around I couldn't muster the strength or find the time with my extra workload during the fall semester. When I hit 14 weeks, my schedule subsided and I finally made my back to the gym, excited to gently jog/walk and weightlift throughout the rest of my pregnancy. I typically run until a month before my due date. In fact, I joined Orange Theory Fitness when I was 32 weeks pregnant with Eisley, but only because they were having a special membership sale. I think the trainers felt a mix of awe and fear when they saw me hustling on the treadmill in my 3rd trimester. I'm sure they were thinking, "We are impressed with this lady, but she also seems like a huge liability." Huge in every sense of the word. Anyway, working out has always been a norm for me during pregnancy, so I recommitted to the gym in early October and worked out 2-3 times a week until mid-November when I got some unexpected news at my doctor's office. Around 20 weeks, I switched from an OB to the certified nurse-midwife team at my medical facility. I had heard great things about the midwives and was hoping for some more personalized, less-invasive care. At my first appointment with the midwife, she walked into the room with an update from my anatomy scan at 18 weeks. After assuring me the baby looked great, she informed me I had a complete previa where the placenta is attached at the bottom of the uterus, fully blocking the cervix. It can be a dangerous condition later in pregnancy and she said my chances of it resolving were about 50/50. If it didn't move, I would have a c-section, and likely early around 37 weeks. She also told me I could no longer work out and should try to avoid lifting Eisley as much as possible. The funny thing is, I loved the midwife even though she gave me some decently bad news. She was so personable and shared that she had ended up with a complete previa with her 4th child after three vaginal deliveries. She had a c-section at 37 weeks and assured me the outcome would be okay no matter what happened. I left the office feeling a bit stunned. After three regular deliveries, I hadn't even considered a c-section as a possibility. But I didn't feel too worried. Most partial previas and many complete previas resolve by the third trimester. I asked a few friends and family members to join me in praying for placenta movement, and then I thought about how restful the holiday season would be without the pressure to get to the gym. I've spent the last ten weeks NOT working out, and I will say that my hips feel much better this pregnancy. It turns out jogging at 20 or 30 weeks pregnant aggravates my hips and lower back. When I was still running in November, I had started visiting the chiropractor to get my hips adjusted. Now that I'm not running, I haven't been back since. The bad news is that I just had my follow-up ultrasound at 28 weeks and the placenta hasn't moved at all. I was hoping for good news and got the opposite. Now my chances of needing a c-section are even higher, as the placenta is less likely to move this late in the pregnancy. I have started acupuncture as a final effort to get the placenta to migrate. I am also taking some Chinese herbs and doing cat-cow poses daily. My next follow-up ultrasound is at 32 weeks. I don't feel too stressed about the situation, but definitely a bit disappointed. I am still hopeful that the placenta will move, but I am also trying to hold my plans for the third trimester loosely. I have a couple of trips in February -- attending my sister's baby shower in Austin and taking a family road trip to Phoenix -- that I am very excited for. However, a complete previa can cause bleeding, especially in the third trimester, so I may face complete bed rest at some point in the next ten weeks. The spectrum ranges from the placenta moving out the way and having a vaginal delivery at full-term around my due date in April to having an early c-section at any point in the next 10 weeks. I am fairly calm in the unknown but would love to have the answer I'm hoping for. So, yes, this pregnancy has been like the rest, except it hasn't. I've never spent my second trimester with such uncertainty. But some things that remain the same: taking joy in the baby's kicks and movements, delighting in my growing belly, and savoring the anticipation of holding a newborn in my arms - no matter which way the baby comes into this world. ... Read more
2020 Goals
We were visiting family in Washington over the holidays and I had enough downtime (with helpful grandparents around) to do quite a bit of reflection and goal-setting for the new year. I typically set goals each January, but I have never spent so much time looking back on the past year to analyze my gains and losses and figure out my hopes for the year ahead. Two resources that helped me do this: Jefferson Bethke's End of Year Summit podcast and Don Whitney's "Ten Questions for a New Year." Before I came up with the goals on the list below, I divided my life into categories (spiritual, marriage, parenting, health, finances, etc.) and assessed my gains and losses in every category during 2019. After listing gains and losses, I summarized any "lessons learned" in each area. My goals for this new year naturally evolved from my reflection list for last year. I also spent time naming favorite memories, trips, movies, and meals to recount God's grace for 2019. As I planned for the year ahead, I realized I had specific goals in each category (which are measurable items) and then I have rhythms I would like to implement on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Rhythms are different than goals. They aren't necessarily measurable (unless I track how often I do them) but they are habits I would like to build, so when I look back on 2020, I can say I did these actions "most" of the time. A great book on forming habits in the Christian life is The Common Rule. I highly recommend it. SPIRITUAL GOALS: Finish reading through the BibleMemorize Romans 8:1-17 SPIRITUAL RHYTHMS: Re-establish morning Bible timesIncorporate written prayer into planner or Bible study journal MARRIAGE RHYTHMS: Date night once a month (don’t ignore morning/lunch opportunities) PARENTING GOALS: Get all kids participating in housework and distinguish between chores and jobsGet a nighttime routine that is brief and spiritually-focused and works for the whole family PARENTING RHYTHMS: Weekly dates with a child (Micah and I rotate weeks and kids)Continue to work on Scripture memory in the car with whiteboardShort bedtime routineLong bedtime routine CAREER GOALS: Get data analyzed for writing labsGet new English curriculum approvedGet three amazing guest speakers for Media Ethics HOME + VEHICLE GOALS: Sell MazdaGet door interior fixed in minivanGet rid of all vertical blinds in house CHURCH GOALS: Start an informal group for expecting/new moms CHURCH RHYTHMS: Reach out to each woman in DG by text 1x/ monthGo on a one-on-one with three DG women this spring FINANCIAL GOALS: Get to ___________ in emergency fundSet up Early Saver account for Baby #4 FINANCIAL RHYTHMS: Establish and commit to a weekly budget meetingUpdate emergency savings chart each month HEALTH GOALS: Get veins fixedGet rid of hydrogenated oils from pantryGet rid of all toxic cleaners HEALTH RHYTHMS: Smoothie with greens daily REST/LEISURE GOALS: Pray about Sabbath and make a plan Read 12 books REST/LEISURE RHYTHMS: Find a way to incorporate blogging into my workweekClean out pictures on a daily basisArchive videos on a weekly basisWrite one encouraging note per month BUSINESS GOALS (Arizona Abode): Get outdoor seating/table BUSINESS RHYTHMS: Monthly spreadsheet update ... Read more
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