Squeak. The sound of newborn life. I want to bottle it up. Plaster it into my memory. Etch it onto my heart. The soft skin. The cheeks that fit into my hand. The puckered lips with the little blister from working so hard for mama’s milk. The hiccups. High-pitched and constant after every single feeding. They shake your eight-pound body but seem to bother you not. The hair on your head that curls with sweat as you lie against my body. Our hearts beating together as they have since you were 22 days in the womb. Squeak. We go to bed at night and I pray for a stretch of sleep. Maybe three hours? Four by the grace of God? You wake me up as you softly moan for milk at the 3 am hour. I clutch your warm body next to mine in the darkness and give you life, even as you give me life. The mornings are slow and full of spit-up and cuddles. I finally plod into the kitchen for a bagel at 10 am. Milk stains visible on my shirt, bags under my eyes, fading veins on my legs from the weight of carrying you. But I see them not. Because I don’t have time to look in the mirror. I haven’t worn make-up in weeks. Instead, I stare into your eyes and the way you look back at me makes me feel more beautiful than mascara or lipstick ever could. Squeak. Someday you’ll probably be taller than me, but right now you fit into the crook of my arm. Your body drapes perfectly over my bosom. You love the gentle pat of my hand on your back. You cross your hands, and sometimes your ankles, as you nurse. It looks comically infantile and geriatric at the same time. Like you could be a baby or an old man. The circle of life. Your womb knees, as we lovingly call them, fold into the shape they held for so many months. A reminder of where you lived before we welcomed you into our home of bassinets and burp cloths and bottles. But as I change your diaper, you kick and kick again. Those little legs unfurl with the promise of life ahead. The walking, running, leaping life of a little girl. The legs that will carry you into womanhood. The future will hold joys and trials, but for now, you care not. You drift off to sleep in my arms yet again. Squeak. I want to freeze every sound, every touch as if my brain could serve as an eternal scrapbook of these newborn days. But I know I am forgetting already, even as I remember. *Photos by Happily Hirst Photography ... Read more
Black Lives Matter
In lieu of a regular Saturday Snippets, I thought I would post some interesting articles I've read and podcasts I've listened to regarding the death of George Floyd, the Black Lives Matter movement, the protests, the riots, the concept of social justice, and the role of the church. Warning: These sources will not repeat all the arguments and slogans you've already seen on social media. They will consider what the Bible says about justice. I am Too Conservative to Stay Silent on Racial Injustices Do the Work Black Lives Matter and Biblical Christianity Christianity and Social Justice The New Legalism Just Thinking Podcast: George Floyd and the Gospel Relatable Podcast: Does the Truth Matter? ... Read more
Coronavirus # 9: Conspiracy Theories
Our official order from the governor is called "shelter-in-place." In some states, it's called a "stay at home order." We have called it many names over the past two months, ranging from "quarantine" to "lockdown." During this extended time at home, it's been easy to consume far too much media about COVID-19. With ever-changing statistics about the virus rolling in daily, there are new conspiracy theories popping up every day as well. I call them "conspiracy theories" loosely because as I've discovered more about the corruption of our government and the media, I've learned that many narratives that question either of those two institutions get labeled as conspiracies when often they are (at least partially) grounded in truth. Here are some of the main theories that have been circulating around alternative news sources and social media for the past two months: Democrats want this virus to decimate the economy, so Trump doesn't get re-elected.The virus was intentionally created in a lab and released -- possibly as a form of biowarfare from China.The virus is being used as a distraction as the Trump administration and U.S. military rescue trafficked children and/or bring down a ring of elite pedophiles.The virus has probably been in our nation undetected since November since containing a pathogen between China and the U.S. is improbable with intercontinental air travel. Therefore, hundreds of thousands of people have already been exposed to the virus, have antibodies, and the death rates are much lower than those published on the news.Governors shut down schools to widely roll-out 5G technology, which emits EMF radiation and will be detrimental to human health (Trump did sign a 5G expansion bill on March 23, 2020).Effective treatments for Coronavirus include vitamin C, zinc, hydroxychloroquine (malaria medicine), Pepcid, or Z-packs, among others, but head health officials refuse to acknowledge these treatments because they are not patentable and won't make money.Bill Gates, Anthony Fauci, Rockefellers, etc. are using the virus (possibly a planned pandemic or, at the very least, a long-awaited one) to move forward with pushing universally mandated vaccines, from which they will profit greatly. Hospitals are inflating numbers of COVID-19 deaths. This could be to help justify the economic shut-down once it became obvious that the virus was not as deadly as hypothesized. Or hospitals could be trying to reimburse their profit losses as Medicare pays more for COVID deaths and for patients put on ventilators.Governors and legislatures in states that were already struggling financially before the pandemic are using the situation to beg the federal government for funding.News of Kawasaki-like illness in children with COVID may simply be in line with the normal statistics of children who develop Kawasaki each year (some of whom will presumably have COVID antibodies now that the virus has circulated widely for months). This could be a fear-mongering ploy to keep schools closed for longer since children do not seem susceptible to complications from Coronavirus.We are quickly moving toward embedding chips under the skin and becoming a cashless society, which means the end times of the Bible are upon us.Homeschooling may soon be outlawed on a federal level as the government uses the pandemic to exert control and squash individual liberty.Democrats want the nation to stay closed through the fall (or close back up in the fall due to a resurgence of the virus), so they can demand mail-in voting in all states and rig the election. Some of these theories seem to be true, at least partially, and others feel far-fetched. As you can imagine, it's exhausting keeping up with it all. I finally had to pull a media fast a few days ago and delete the social media apps from my phone. I planned to take a break for just 24 hours, but it felt so nice to read no headlines and watch no news clips that I'm about hit 72 hours media-free. I will go back to engaging media eventually, but I needed a break from the constant stream of conflicting information. ... Read more
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