I’ve had a
dream since I was a very little girl. A dream to be a doctor. But not a medical
doctor. No way. I could hardly stand to look at the blood when I scraped my
knee as a child. I wanted to be a doctor of books. I wanted to get my PhD
before I really knew what a PhD was. All I knew was that it meant you went to
school for as long as possible. Since I already loved school, I knew a PhD was
for me. I was probably five or six years old.
My life often looks something like this… {and I LOVE it!}
When I
graduated from undergrad a few years ago, I contemplated going straight into
grad school. College had only made me fall more in love with my field, English,
and with the prospect of becoming a professor. However, I decided to try
teaching high school first with plans to return to grad school in a few years.
graduated from undergrad a few years ago, I contemplated going straight into
grad school. College had only made me fall more in love with my field, English,
and with the prospect of becoming a professor. However, I decided to try
teaching high school first with plans to return to grad school in a few years.
I started teaching high school, coaching volleyball and track, and, soon
after, started dating my high school sweetheart again. The only slight downfall was that this was a long distance
relationship. I was in Texas; he was in Washington, but I was busy so it didn’t bother me too much. Life was perfect. And I had a plan in place. It went
something like this in my head: teach at this school for three years, during
the third year get engaged and plan a Washington wedding from Texas and apply
to graduate programs at the same time, go home to Seattle over the summer, get
married, move away with my new husband right after our honeymoon to the best grad school possible,
no matter where it was located.
after, started dating my high school sweetheart again. The only slight downfall was that this was a long distance
relationship. I was in Texas; he was in Washington, but I was busy so it didn’t bother me too much. Life was perfect. And I had a plan in place. It went
something like this in my head: teach at this school for three years, during
the third year get engaged and plan a Washington wedding from Texas and apply
to graduate programs at the same time, go home to Seattle over the summer, get
married, move away with my new husband right after our honeymoon to the best grad school possible,
no matter where it was located.
I know it
sounds silly now. I had my plans. And I didn’t take God or Micah into consideration. But,
honestly, I thought it would work this way.
sounds silly now. I had my plans. And I didn’t take God or Micah into consideration. But,
honestly, I thought it would work this way.
My way.
And then
plans changed. God changed them. And I had to put my dreams on hold.
plans changed. God changed them. And I had to put my dreams on hold.
At the end
of my second year teaching and maintaining this long distance relationship,
Micah asked me to move home. He wanted to pursue marriage, but he wanted to
live in the same city for a while before we made it official. We typically only
saw each other over Christmas and summer for the whole two years of our long
distance relationship, and he wanted to interact on a daily basis before getting
engaged.
of my second year teaching and maintaining this long distance relationship,
Micah asked me to move home. He wanted to pursue marriage, but he wanted to
live in the same city for a while before we made it official. We typically only
saw each other over Christmas and summer for the whole two years of our long
distance relationship, and he wanted to interact on a daily basis before getting
engaged.
At first, I
was upset. I was supposed to teach in Texas for one more year and watch the
group of students I was closest to graduate. They were about to be seniors. But
after a week or two, I realized that Micah was right. I needed to move home and
learn how to make my future husband the most important person in my life after God, of course.
was upset. I was supposed to teach in Texas for one more year and watch the
group of students I was closest to graduate. They were about to be seniors. But
after a week or two, I realized that Micah was right. I needed to move home and
learn how to make my future husband the most important person in my life after God, of course.
Goofing off with some of my volleyball players. Love them.
However, I
went home with my plan still floating in my head. This move was only a slight
detour. I wouldn’t get to be in Texas to watch my students graduate, but I
could still apply to grad schools with the plan of getting married the
following summer. Then Micah and I would move away to some other state while I
finally achieved my dream of getting my PhD.
went home with my plan still floating in my head. This move was only a slight
detour. I wouldn’t get to be in Texas to watch my students graduate, but I
could still apply to grad schools with the plan of getting married the
following summer. Then Micah and I would move away to some other state while I
finally achieved my dream of getting my PhD.
Wrong.
While I was
busy applying to ten different grad schools on both coasts and everywhere in
between, things were not going well with Micah and me. In fact, we almost broke
up. It turns out that getting through the ups and downs of daily life with
someone is much more difficult than going on fun dates at Christmastime. It didn’t help that I was still pursing my grad school plan without really taking anything else into consideration. We both saw sides of each other we had never seen before {that ugly sinful side} and it was hard to adjust to knowing the good and the
bad about each other instead of just catching a glimpse of the good for a few
weeks each year. Meanwhile, the acceptance letters to grad schools started
coming in and I had to make a decision. I went to visit the University of Miami
and Arizona State University over spring break. I came home and accepted my
offer from Miami. I would be moving to Florida in a few short months.
busy applying to ten different grad schools on both coasts and everywhere in
between, things were not going well with Micah and me. In fact, we almost broke
up. It turns out that getting through the ups and downs of daily life with
someone is much more difficult than going on fun dates at Christmastime. It didn’t help that I was still pursing my grad school plan without really taking anything else into consideration. We both saw sides of each other we had never seen before {that ugly sinful side} and it was hard to adjust to knowing the good and the
bad about each other instead of just catching a glimpse of the good for a few
weeks each year. Meanwhile, the acceptance letters to grad schools started
coming in and I had to make a decision. I went to visit the University of Miami
and Arizona State University over spring break. I came home and accepted my
offer from Miami. I would be moving to Florida in a few short months.
Then came
the breaking point. Micah finally had to tell me point blank that he wasn’t ready to get married and he would not be moving to Florida even if I chose to.
And he was right… we weren’t ready to get married. It had been a tough year and
in many ways it felt like we had to start our relationship all over again. I had to decide. Would I choose Micah, this man I loved, or
grad school in Florida? Thankfully, the Lord led me to the right decision. I
chose Micah and then e-mailed the director of my new program and told her I
would not be attending school in the fall. I knew I was doing the right thing,
but it felt like I was losing my dream that I had worked so hard for.
the breaking point. Micah finally had to tell me point blank that he wasn’t ready to get married and he would not be moving to Florida even if I chose to.
And he was right… we weren’t ready to get married. It had been a tough year and
in many ways it felt like we had to start our relationship all over again. I had to decide. Would I choose Micah, this man I loved, or
grad school in Florida? Thankfully, the Lord led me to the right decision. I
chose Micah and then e-mailed the director of my new program and told her I
would not be attending school in the fall. I knew I was doing the right thing,
but it felt like I was losing my dream that I had worked so hard for.
Fast forward
two years. Micah and I persevered in our relationship and eventually talk of
marriage started again. A few months before Micah proposed, he urged me to apply
to grad school again, and this time he would be coming with me. We made a plan
together and I only applied to schools in cities where he could easily transfer
with the company that had become his dream job over
the past five years. I got into a handful of schools but the choice of Arizona
State seemed obvious. Micah was miraculously able to step into his same
position in the Phoenix area, and I received full funding for school and a
teaching position on campus.
two years. Micah and I persevered in our relationship and eventually talk of
marriage started again. A few months before Micah proposed, he urged me to apply
to grad school again, and this time he would be coming with me. We made a plan
together and I only applied to schools in cities where he could easily transfer
with the company that had become his dream job over
the past five years. I got into a handful of schools but the choice of Arizona
State seemed obvious. Micah was miraculously able to step into his same
position in the Phoenix area, and I received full funding for school and a
teaching position on campus.
I am so
thankful to be in Arizona. Micah and I love it here; we have relatives who live
nearby, we love our jobs and our new friends, and Arizona
happens to be a hot spot for travelers, so we both get to see our friends and
family who live out of state all the time.
thankful to be in Arizona. Micah and I love it here; we have relatives who live
nearby, we love our jobs and our new friends, and Arizona
happens to be a hot spot for travelers, so we both get to see our friends and
family who live out of state all the time.
Happy at home in Arizona!
Micah is shirtless because we are hiking… 🙂
Micah is shirtless because we are hiking… 🙂
God really does say “wait” sometimes. His timing is so much better than
our own. If I had pursued my own path, I would be living in Florida and I would
probably be incredibly lonely. Not to mention I would be on a completely different career path than the one I’ve chosen at ASU, and I definitely don’t think I would be a blogger. I also would not know God as intimately as I do
now. Although it was hard to give up grad school the first time around, I trusted God and he fulfilled my dreams in his own perfect
timing. Of course, God doesn’t always have to say yes to our prayers. His will
for us might be completely different than what we ask of him. But if God
places a dream in your heart that sticks around for a while, my guess is that
dream is one he would have you pursue. But pursue it with open hands. If he
seems to be closing doors at first, but that dream is still in your heart, wait
on him patiently and eagerly watch to see what he will do. His plan is probably
more beautiful than what you originally expected.
our own. If I had pursued my own path, I would be living in Florida and I would
probably be incredibly lonely. Not to mention I would be on a completely different career path than the one I’ve chosen at ASU, and I definitely don’t think I would be a blogger. I also would not know God as intimately as I do
now. Although it was hard to give up grad school the first time around, I trusted God and he fulfilled my dreams in his own perfect
timing. Of course, God doesn’t always have to say yes to our prayers. His will
for us might be completely different than what we ask of him. But if God
places a dream in your heart that sticks around for a while, my guess is that
dream is one he would have you pursue. But pursue it with open hands. If he
seems to be closing doors at first, but that dream is still in your heart, wait
on him patiently and eagerly watch to see what he will do. His plan is probably
more beautiful than what you originally expected.
Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your
heart.
– Psalm 37:4 –
heart.
– Psalm 37:4 –
a beautiful story of God fitting the pieces together perfectly. you've reminded me that i have a few things that i need to take to the Lord, and not to assume that my plans are perfect. no they are not.
thanks for sharing. xx
I love to see the results of God's plan in other people's lives. It gives me faith to believe and grow my own relationship with him.
yep. God sure does say wait sometimes. hard to do but it's always for our good. loved this post 🙂
That's one of the hardest lessons to learn I think… Accepting that your plan and His plan don't always match up! Glad things worked out the way they did for you!
It is amazing to see how God works all things together 🙂 I know in my life it can be really difficult to see past my own plan though. This is quite an encouragement to me!
I am so proud of you!
I'm kinda late reading this, but it's a beautiful story. I love it – really. thanks for sharing. you're right; god does say "wait" sometimes.