How DJ Tanner Changed My Life

Full House began in 1987, just a couple of weeks after I turned five years old. It ran until 1995 when I was experiencing the pre-adolescent angst that is the first year of middle school. The basic plot of Full House hardly resembled my own life. On the show, a widowed father, Danny Tanner, raises three girls in San Francisco with the help of their vain, musician uncle, and a quirky family friend named Joey. My childhood was happening in the suburbs of Seattle. My family lived in a nice three-bedroom rambler, not a Victorian home in the city. My parents were married. We hadn’t tasted death within our immediate family, and we didn’t have friends and extended family living with us.

However, Danny’s three daughters, related to me in every way, or so I thought. I remember talking to my real-life sister about which Tanner daughter was the best. Was it D.J., the bossy, stylish, and responsible oldest child? Stephanie, the middle child that you couldn’t help but empathize with as she looked up to D.J. and tried not to be treated like a little kid? Or Michelle, played by the now iconic twins, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, who was a sweet but sassy youngest child?

There was never a doubt in my mind. I wanted to be just like D.J. with her studious ways, her serious boyfriend, and her responsibility in leading her younger siblings. In many ways, I was like
D.J.. She was just a few years older than me and had a trendy hairstyle that I desperately tried to replicate by sleeping in pink foam curlers. My “D.J.  bangs” were not my finest beauty moment, but I felt like a supermodel with poofy, hair-sprayed bangs that flew up at least three inches above my forehead.

But D.J. Tanner was a good role model for me in a lot of ways, even if her hairstyles were not one of them. I didn’t know many older girls when I was growing up, and yet I felt the weighty burden, probably emphasized by my parents’ constant reprimands, that I was supposed to be a “good example” for my younger sister and brother. But how was I to know what a good example looked like in my manners or behaviors if I didn’t have any older siblings to learn from? This is where D.J. Tanner became a crucial figure in my life. She was the older sister I never had, and she shaped me week after week for eight impressionable years of my youth.

First, D.J. Tanner was a good student. She got straight As, just like me. In season seven, D.J. frantically studies for the SATs and then has a nightmare about the test going poorly. Very few people have nightmares about the SATs, except for people like D.J., who wanted to go to Stanford, and me, who started a list of potential colleges to attend in the eighth grade. D.J. confirmed to me that college was something to strive for. When D.J. got her own room in season five, after sharing with her sister, Stephanie, for so many years, my most vivid memory of the room is of the desk where D.J. would study. It was almost, in my ten year old eyes, reminiscent of a dorm room, where studious girls live in chic independence. Of course, my college dorm room, with its tile floors and old bunk beds, looked nothing like D.J.’s room at home, but her dedication to attending college inspired me from a young age.

It was not only D.J.’s mind, but also her body that impacted me. D.J. and I were not so different. We were generally pretty and well-liked at school. We were bookworms, not athletes. We were skinny, but not the skinniest. Yet, I got to watch D.J. go through trials associated with body image before I ever stepped through the doors of a high school. When D.J. decides she is “too fat” to attend a pool party in season four, she goes on a crash diet so she can look like the picture of a supermodel she posts on the refrigerator to motivate her not to eat. She then takes her undernourished body to the gym, where she collapses on a treadmill. The lesson? You don’t have to be the skinniest girl to be beautiful. I was able to take that mindset into high school and college and avoid many of the body image doubts that plague so many teenage girls.

But perhaps the most significant trait that D.J. modeled for me was that of loyalty. There are very few episodes of Full House that don’t include Kimmy Gibbler, the crazy next door neighbor, barging into the Tanner’s kitchen wearing some strange outfit (even stranger than typical 80s fashion) or practicing some kind of weird behavior. Kimmy is eccentric, unloved by her own family, and often annoying. And, yet, Kimmy is D.J.’s best friend. D.J. supports and encourages Kimmy through the whole series. Sometimes this support is rather unethical, such as letting Kimmy, who typically earns bad grades, copy her papers at school, but other times it means teaching Kimmy about the dangers of drunk driving or preventing Kimmy from getting married to her mindless boyfriend. D.J. is always loyal and kind to her quirky friend. In one of the most memorable episodes of the show, D.J. forgets Kimmy’s sixteenth birthday. It is one of the few times you see Kimmy’s serious side in the show, as she is hurt by her DJ’s uncaring ignorance. D.J. got distracted by her anniversary with her boyfriend, but she confesses her mistake to Kimmy and gives a sincere apology. Because DJ has been a loyal friend for so long, the two are able to reconcile. DJ and Kimmy’s friendship taught me to look for friends in unlikely places. It was okay if my friends were different from me. It also showed me that friendship is strengthened when you can admit you are wrong, apologize, and walk forward in love.

D.J. also shows a ferocious loyalty to her family, particularly her younger sisters. Although Stephanie often pesters her older sister, D.J. is always willing to help Stephanie when she is in need. She also protects Stephanie, such as the time she prevents junior high Stephanie from taking a wild car ride with two high school boys that ends in an accident. Like D.J., my younger sister is also my best friend. Although she often annoyed me when we were young, as she was prone to reading my diary and taking my clothes without asking in a very Stephanie-esque fashion, we have grown to be extremely close friends over the years.

Although  Full House ended nearly thirty years ago, D.J. has never quite left me. In fact, Candace Cameron Bure, the actress who played D.J., still has an impact on my life. As a beautiful wife, mother, and actress, Candace paints a picture of who D.J. might have become had the show continued for another decade. Candace’s steadfast marriage, her joy in motherhood, her health, her multifaceted career, and her boldness in sharing her faith are all examples of what I would like my life to look like as I grow older. Bure is an example of the type of woman I strive to be and hope I am already becoming.

I guess DJ Tanner really did change my life.