She ran ahead of me in her little black tutu. I hadn’t had a chance to buy her shoes yet, so we crammed her feet into a used pair from the loaner basket. She glanced at herself in the mirror and looked pleased. She didn’t seem to mind that her slippers were a bit too small or a little bit dirty. She didn’t notice that her bun was messy instead of polished like the older girls hanging around the lobby.
When it was time for class to start, she followed her teacher, Miss Jordan, into a back studio with a handful of other 3 and 4 year old girls. I sat in the waiting room and watched the class from the TV. I saw her stretch and plié. Leap and point her toes. I had tucked a book into my purse to keep me occupied during the class, but I found myself mesmerized by the screen the entire time.
As the class was wrapping up 45 minutes later, I stood to leave the waiting room and meet Zianne outside her classroom. Before I could exit, I started talking with another mom and stood with my back to the door, distracted. Before I knew it, my three year-old was jumping into my arms exclaiming, “Mommy, I had SO much fun!”
So much fun. She was all smiles and so articulate about how great her first ballet lesson had been. It was perhaps the most enthusiastic I had ever seen her (which is saying a lot, because she’s naturally one of the most enthusiastic people I know). “It was SO much fun,” she told me again.
To be honest, I delved into these ballet lessons with caution. Although raising young children takes so much time and energy, the nice thing about babies and toddlers is they rarely have organized activities. When I was training for a half marathon last spring, I would run past the crowded soccer fields in our neighborhood, quietly thankful that we were still in the season where Saturdays were our own. No soccer games. No volleyball matches. No cheering competitions. No. No. Not yet. Saturday mornings were still for mommy and daddy to go running or surfing or meet up with a friend.
Ballet lessons would usher us into a new season of extracurricular activities, but I knew Zianne would love them, so I asked my parents for “experience” gifts for the girls this Christmas – ballet lessons for Z and swim lessons for T. I figured we could surrender our Saturday mornings this winter and then pause classes when the baby arrives in the spring.
So at 9:30am every Saturday, you will find me at the ballet studio for the next few months. My daughter will be skipping and leaping in the back classroom, while I watch her on a TV screen in the waiting room. She will be smiling, and I will be too, because nothing can compare to the moment she leapt into my arms after her very first lesson. In that instant, as I looked at her exuberant smile and flushed cheeks, I understood more fully the verse that says, “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11)
Her delight was my delight. When I saw her excitement for this new class, the sacrifice was worth it to me. I could gladly make this Saturday morning commitment and added “buy ballet shoes” to my shopping list for the week. Even though I am naturally selfish and want Saturdays to myself, I suddenly found myself overjoyed to spend a precious weekend morning in a crowded dance studio. To give the gift of ballet lessons to my daughter filled my own heart with joy.
And this how God looks at us. We are needy and naive, and yet we can ask him for anything, and he delights to give us good gifts. We can leap into the arms of a Father who loves us and wants to bestow blessing upon us. God is the perfect parent who gladly gave up for us, not his Saturday mornings, but his very own Son. And that son endured so much more than a crowded waiting room in a dance studio; his body was distorted on a cross to show his devotion to God’s beloved children.
The Father will give us any gift that’s for our good and His glory. Ask him. Trust him when he says no, and leap into his embrace with delighted gratitude when he so often says YES.
