Today I’m supposed to write about my three worst traits.
Depressing.
My number one worst trait is that I am always late. To school, to work, to social events, to church. Even when just trying to run errands for myself, I am usually behind my intended schedule. It’s horrible. It makes me anxious. It makes me impatient and unsafe when I drive. I know it’s disrespectful toward those who have to wait for me when I’m tardy. It’s unprofessional. It’s sick really.
I don’t know how or why I turned into the late person. I guess it’s always been a part of my character {like I used to arrive late to school every day of senior year, because I could – even though it made my poor younger sister late to class}, but it’s gotten worse in recent years. I think, at the heart of it, I feel entitled to run my schedule the way I want, often cramming in activities and tasks I didn’t really make proper time for, and then justifying it when I run late and inconvenience other people’s schedules. In my mind, I’m like “oh well… I’m like five minutes late but I sent that email and folded all the laundry and read my Bible…” as if reading my Bible at the expense of someone else’s time is really something to be proud of.
Okay, I am supposed to talk about three traits, but I am so annoyed with my late trait that I can’t even think of others… I guess if I had to pick two others it would be my tendency to have a harsh, ungentle tongue with people I’m close to {i.e. my mom and Micah} and the idolizing of my own schedule {getting annoyed with interruptions to my day and unexpected tasks and events}.
I could just end it here and say “I suck. I hate these things about myself. I’ve tried to change, but I’ve failed many, many times.”
Or I could slap my sin in the face with truth… and that is what I am going to do.
These sins are real. My schedule is my idol. I am late because “getting things done” is my god and interruptions wreck me because they interfere with my other god… my “to do list.” My harsh speech is also sinful. The Bible says that “a gentle tongue is a tree of life” {Proverbs 15:4} and “the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness” that can control the whole body {James 3:6}. My hasty words and my tardiness put Christ on the cross. They might seem like minor flaws, but they are simply visible symptoms of a whole mess of selfishness, pride, and entitlement in my heart.
Blech.
But here is the thing. I can change. Not by my own will, of course, but with the power of the Holy Spirit in me, I can be on time. And I can accept unexpected changes to my schedule with joy and grace. And I can speak gentle, life-giving words.
Since I am in Christ, His Spirit dwells in me. This is the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead. A Spirit that can raise the dead can surely teach my heart to put other people’s schedules ahead of my own.
I’m not saying I’m going to turn into a person who always shows up early just by clicking publish on this post. But I can and will change. It will take discipline and perseverance and probably some uncomfortable sacrifice. And I will probably mess up quite a few times as I travel this road of repentance. But I will succeed. Because Jesus has already gained victory over my sin, and I am going to watch that victory redeem my worst traits as I stumble through life on this earth and fall time and time again into the Arms of Grace.
Thank you for sharing this. I love that you didn't stop at the worst traits or at the sins, but you continued on to the God's grace part 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
Wow– we share the same worst traits!
I always try to cram a BAJILLION things into a minute before I need to leave.
Also, I too have a harsh tongue– and always to people I'm close with! It's awful.
But Jesus is in me, and more and more I need to let him rearrange my heart and soul, letting him make more room for His glory and goodness, and less room for my ugly sin.
Great message. My mouth gets away from me all the time, and then I think, "Way to go. God heard that. Happy now?" Thank you for the inspiration to do better.
Great message. My mouth gets away from me all the time, and then I think, "Way to go. God heard that. Happy now?" Thank you for the inspiration to do better.
you know i am very prompt … which doesn't allow for any error … which is why i end up being late. lol … i just need to give myself 10 extra mins and i would be on time ///
i was never late until i had my third kiddo…i blame her. lol
Amen! What a hopeful outlook for a potentially depressing topic!
~Taylor
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