Dear Entitled Jaywalker,
I’m sorry I ran you over in my Mazda. I was in a hurry to get to class and I didn’t see you wandering down the middle of the street. I didn’t notice you as you walked diagonally across two lanes, with your back to oncoming traffic, at the slowest pace known man. I did notice the crosswalk thirty feet away from you, and I even noticed the pedestrians there, waiting to cross the street at the designated spot. In fact, I even stopped and patiently waited for them to cross with their right of way. I made eye contact with them and gave a smile and a wave as they looked both ways and stepped cautiously into the road.
It’s not that I have anything against the occasional jaywalk. In fact, I do it all the time. But let me teach you a few lessons. If you are going to jaywalk, do so at your own risk. You do not have the right of way. You should look both ways and hustle across the street at the quickest pace possible. And if, while you are jaywalking, you happen to cut off an unsuspecting driver and cause them to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting you, please don’t flip them off or stand in the middle of the street angry and baffled as to why their car almost collided with your body. I am not against jaywalking; I am against entitled jaywalkers who don’t realize they are putting themselves in danger and then sneer at the cars that almost hit them.
So, I am sorry I hit you, you entitled wandering pedestrian.
Except, not really.
Love,
Jen
P.S. Don’t think it’s just you. I will address your friends, the entitled cyclists, as soon as I can.
Yes!! I'll slow down for jaywalkers, but I hate it when they look at me as though I'm doing something wrong!! If they see me coming and hurry up to run across the road, that's fine. But it makes me so angry when they sneer at me or purposely walk slowly, knowing that I wouldn't dare hit them with my car.
Really like your post, it's very funny. Totally get your frustration.
xxSusanne
Oh, geez! Try working on a college campus! It's ridiculous!
Oh my gosh, did you really? Haha! Once I hit a kid on a bike doing the same thing. Scarred my life.
Ps. I enjoy a blog with a religious writer. It is wonderful when somebody stands up for their beliefs.
Oh my goodness…this gave me a good giggle this morning. Hope they are okay!
Ha… reminds me of driving on my college campus. EXCEPT… ALL pedestrians have the right of way on campus. It's a jaywalkers dream.
Xo Lourdes
HAHA! This cracked me up… College campuses are notorious for this. As they are notorious for idiots wandering into the road and getting hit… It's only funny when nobody gets hurt of course. Just a little disclaimer there. 😉
Remember in Canada when someone threw their car into reverse, hit me, yelled "sorry" in the most Canadian of ways, and peeled out? Hilarious.