How do you do it all day?
Hang out with your kids, that is?
Because I’ve been home all day, every day with my kids for nearly three months, and I might be going insane. Like I might need to see a therapist if someone doesn’t intervene soon. And the person staging my intervention should ideally be a nanny.
Micah told me when we got married he didn’t think I should be a stay-at-home mom. It’s not that he didn’t want me to consider it or that we couldn’t swing it financially. He just didn’t think my personality was cut out for it. I’m here to report… he was right.
When it was just Z and me, our days at home were pretty fun. I had a light workload with teaching, a full social calendar, and one little baby who slept really well. I cherished our days at home. She would nap, I would catch up on laundry, we would play with toys and put them all away right afterward. Life was bliss.
But being at home all day with both my kids is a different story. Z watches too much TV while Talitha naps and I try to get housework done. Then I face the conundrum… do I take both girls out and about and endure the chaos comes with toting kids to the grocery store, bank, and library, or do we stay at home where they will mess up my freshly cleaned home and send me into a downward spiral of never-ending housework? We have gone to the library four times so far this summer. The first time ended with Z peeing on an upholstered chair. The second time Talitha puked on herself in the stroller. The third time, there were no bodily fluids involved and we actually checked out books, so I went back a fourth time thinking we were finally getting the hang of the public library. On trip number four, Zianne pooped her pants and then lost our already checked out books ON the library shelves. We had to wander around the children’s section (with poop in her underwear, mind you), as we searched hundreds of board books for two that were already checked out in our name, while adults shushed us from across the library because both girls were screaming… We can never go back to that library again,
On another note, what do you feed your kids for lunch? That is a mystery to me.
Don’t get me wrong. I love being with my kids. They make me laugh, and it’s a joy to watch them develop each day. I remind myself often that I am doing a holy work at home, and I am building a legacy as I pour into my children. But seriously, I am looking forward to my work days in the fall. Half day preschool sounds like sabbath rest to me. Getting into my car alone and sitting in my office alone and sending emails alone… sign me up. I need to swap out the children’s section for the college library for awhile. I need to mix in some scholarly research with the board books.
But many of you moms will not being going to work in the fall. You will be in children’s section of the library. You will read every board book. Your potty-training child might pee on the library carpet (but I hope not!). You will stoop to clean every mess. You will see crumbs all over your house, you will sweep them away, and they will be back ten minutes later. You will desperately scrounge for food at lunch time and plop onto the couch in an exhausted heap at nap time. You will continually question yourself: How can I love my kids THIS much, yet want a break from them so badly at the same time? I am so thankful for a flexible schedule at home, but why do my days still feel so busy and chaotic?
Those questions are normal. At least, I hope they are.
I know we are all called to different journeys. Some are called to motherhood, some are not. Some moms are supposed to work, some stay home, some do a crazy juggle of working part-time while parenting full-time. I’ve done a little of each and I could write an ode to each of you.
But right now, almost three months into being home with my kids all day, every day, I sing my praises to you, “stay-at-home mom.” Or rather “get-out-of-the-house-before-you-all-go-crazy mom.” You are amazing. You juggle so many roles and responsibilities that no one ever sees. You organize, strategize, multi-task, and manage conflict. You don’t ever get a raise or a promotion, unless finally replacing your old nursing bra or buying a Starbucks before you grocery shop counts as compensation…
You handle the juggle and chaos with such patience, grace,and joy. You probably beat yourself up for the times you feel impatient or frustrated with your children, but those times are more rare than you think. Your children are going to be shaped by the kindness you showed them during these days at home with you, even if they don’t remember the details of the games you played or the lunches you made.
Stay-at-home mom, you are truly amazing.
