A Fire that I Can’t Control…

We sang a song at church this weekend called “Set a Fire” by Jesus Culture and one of the lines says, “So set a fire down in my soul, that I can’t contain, that I can’t control.” The words continue to ring in my mind…

Because I want control. I love control. I can sing beautiful lyrics on Sunday morning but if I really think about it, asking God to do anything in my heart, mind, or soul that’s beyond my control is not actually my preference. My flesh loves to control EVERYTHING.

I like my house a certain way. I like my coffee a certain way. I want to have a certain number of friends who treat me a certain way. I want my laundry done a certain way. I want my kids to behave a certain way. I want to go on a specific number of date nights and vacations and post a reasonable number of pictures on Instagram. I like to read one book a month for fun, and if the bed doesn’t get made right or if a baby wakes up before I’ve read my Bible, I get mad. I want control of every aspect and detail of my life, and when circumstances sail out of my control, I get angry. I mope, I complain, I harbor bitter thoughts even when I don’t say them aloud. But I often say them out loud.

I love control.

But the Christian life is about not being in control. It’s about surrendering to the One who is ultimately in control. When I survey my life, I realize my absolute inability to keep everything running smoothly. The coffee may taste good, but the baby wakes up early and I don’t get to finish it. The date night ends with an argument. The kids refuse to smile for the camera. And this doesn’t even get into the spiritual realm. The cleanliness of my house and the quality of my date nights are insignificant when compared to the utter helplessness of my heart. My attempts at righteousness are futile, and even my most disciplined moments are often tangled up with sin – complaints, bitterness, and pride in my heart.

I am so slow to recognize that I follow a God who is in control. Absolutely in control of everything. He set the stars in place (Psalm 8:3) and he holds the world in his hand (Psalm 95:4). He never sleeps, and he is never caught off guard. Nothing ever happens that is outside his plan. He is stronger than every evil force and no circumstance takes him by surprise. He knows every person on earth by name, and the history of the world is woven together for his glory.

I worship the One who controls the whole universe (Colossians 1:17).

And so I pray that I would genuinely sing, “Set a fire down in my soul, that I can’t contain, that I can’t control.” I’ve never had control anyway, but I hope to cultivate a spirit that is thankful for the surrender. Thankful for a God who messes up our plans, moves us to new places, puts strangers in our path, and calls us to meet the needs of others, even when it wasn’t on our calendar. Set a fire to my false sense of control, Lord. Burn it up and refresh me with the living water of your Spirit.